May 27th, 2007 |
I shot an email over to my good friend at FastServers.net, Aaron Phillips, to see what was up with him and what the team at FastServers.net had planned for this year’s HostingCon. The ususally gregarious VP of Sales and Marketing seemed somewhat cryptic in his reply and I quote:
“Our booth is Top Secret this year.”
What?!?!!?! You’re talking to an industry insider! A guy that has to be in the know all the time. For freakin’ goodness I’m on the HostingCon Board with you man!
Okay - so it’s gonna be like that, huh? Well two can play at this game, Aaron. I have developed several working theories on what FastServers.net may have planned - based on countless hours of pure scientific research, 37 cups of coffee, and a long weekend spent watching X-files re-runs.
My first step was to gain Top Secret clearance for myself. I figure that way Aaron can feel comfortable giving me the trusted information and know that the U.S. govenment has looked into whether or not I can keep a secret.
So I check out a few online sources and find that “A Top Secret clearance may be granted to those persons who have a “need-to-know” national security information, classified up to the Top Secret level.” Perfect! I SO “need-to-know”! I figure I’m a shoe-in. Then I read this article about how the White House is trying to get faster Top Secret clearances because they are backlogged by 350,000 applications. Crap! That means that I can’t get my Top Secret clearance until after HostingCon - at least.
So after much more deliberation I arrive at the solution: the HostingCon booth secret is embedded either in an Easter Egg on the FastServers.net website - or as an anagram inside Aaron Phillip’s bio on the site.
I tooled around the FastServers.net website and clicked on practically every link - but still no sign of any hidden messages.
So I turned to my anagram theory. Here’s where things get very interesting.
I used my deep intellectual reasoning skills (okay…I actually used this online anagram solver tool) to see what words might be embedded in the anagram for FastServers.net. Some of the Top Secret words embedded are:
EASTERNERS
FATTENERS
NEAREST
TAVERNS
Aha!! So the booth will have something to do with Easterners who will be taken to the nearest taverns to the HostingCon venue and then fattened up. Hmmm…well that certainly can happen - but that’s just regular trade show stuff. Nothing really secret there. So I moved on.
Why didn’t I see it before? It was so obvious. Right in front of me! The motherlode was when I checked the anagram for…drumroll please….wait for it….Aaron Phillips!!
PIRANHAS
SIRLOIN
PIANOS
PARIS
ASPIRIN
Suddenly it was all so clear:
This year at HostingCon, FastServers.net will have a large tank filled with man-eating piranhas on display. While a soothing piano player serenades attendees, Aaron Phillips himself will throw large cuts of raw sirloin into the tank to whip the fish into a feeding fenzy. FastServers will also be accepting entries to win either a trip to Paris, France or to win a date with Paris Hilton - after which FastServers.net will supply the lucky winner with aspirin.
HA! Take that Mr. Aaron Phillips! I have cracked your TOP SECRET HostingCon booth code! Now everyone knows what you are planning!
So to see how RIGHT I am about FastServers.net and their transparent attempt to keep their booth TOP SECRET, why not stop by and say “Hi” to Aaron and his team of dedicated server experts in booth #409. FastServers.net is a Platinum Sponsor again this year at HostingCon. FastServers.Net is a leader in managed dedicated server hosting. Featuring Windows and Linux solutions with cPanel, Plesk, HELM, Urchin FastServers.Net provides high availability single server and multi-server solutions.
FastServers.net is teaming up with TopHosts.com for a Business Networking Cruise at the show. The cruise will be a 3 hour long tour of Lake Michigan and allow exclusive access to key industry analysts, experts and companies that are shaping the web hosting industry. I hope to see you all there!
This content was written by Derek Vaughan and provided courtesy of the dedicated server providers showcase at The Hosting News.